May. 12th, 2016

Bad Sister

May. 12th, 2016 09:34 pm
aechapeach: (Default)
May 11, 2016

 Today, my demon almost took over my whole system.
I almost cut my brother's tongue because we we're fighting, again. For the same reason why we fight in everyday life. Food.
He's always been like that, not eating and finishing the food served for him. But today, idk. My mood got messed up and the demons almost took over me. I was so tired because i baked some oatmeal bars, then I asked him if he was hungry and if he wanted to eat dinner. He said yes, so I got up on bed and cooked for him.  
I asked him to get his rice, i was supposed to tell him that the amount of his rice serving is too little and he should add more but i didn't say anything coz i know he wont eat it all.
He was eating all alone while i was connecting the internet, Then all of a sudden he said "Ate ayoko na" (i dont want to eat anymore). I told him to finish his food but he silently cried on the table. He got up and told me "May sasabihin lang ako kay Lola Mely" (I'm just going to say something to  Lola) he's sniffling as he tried to run towards the other house. Then he whined and told them that his tummy hurts and he doesn't want to eat anymore. That's the last straw, I got mad.
He told everyone his stomach is aching, so all of them (my lola and 2 other cousins) was so worried about him. They told him not to eat anymore. I told them to let him whine, because he's just nagpapaawa (asking for pity).
When everyone went out of our house, i ask my brother to clean the dishes. He's 8 years old, and he must know hot to atleast do something rather than just play. He was still crying and whining and my mind just completely turn into a beast. I ask him what is wrong, and he wont answer me, so  kind of threatened to cut his tongue with scissors in hand. I felt guilty, I fxxking felt like the worst sister in the world.
I'm sorry Baby Bro. We both know we did wrong, so I hope we learn something from it. 
I love you Joe. I'm so sorry.


aechapeach: (Default)

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